Our world has evolved. Technology continues to move forward at lightning fast speed. There is call waiting, call forwarding, three way calling, email, text, video chat, IM’ing, and intercom phones. You can talk on your cell phone and be on the internet at the same time. Your phone can talk to you and tell you exactly how to get to your destination. You can program your TV to record shows in the future, even after your dead! You can upload and download in the privacy of your own home while you shoot your load!

My friend has a 13 year old daughter and her daughter was calling her grandparents who are “old school”  and her daughter says, “Mom, there’s this weird noise on the line.” It was a fucking busy signal! The kid had never heard a busy signal before! She thought everyone had call waiting!

I’m getting to my point. Thanks to the internet we can shop online, get our news online, apply for a job online and get a date online. When so much of our communication is done electronically and often the first impression someone has of us is by reading what we write…….then USE FUCKIN’ SPELLCHECK MORONS!!!

Now I’m not talking about the occassional mispelling or abbreviation in a casual text to a friend because we all know that you only get 160 characters and you have to conserve space. Let me give you an example of what I am talking about. This is an actual personal ad from a dating website. This guy’s handle is “gotshaft” and he is looking for an activity partner.  Gotshaft writes:

“i have been a single guy for almost 5 yrs. just left a monistary i must have weaved 10,000 hats in this time . & i dont have onre to show. I am, in need of some frendly free company, i will supply anything else we might need, coolwip ,jello,plastic sheeting im just kidding, soda or beer maybe a wine cooler?”

I have had the exquisite pleasure of seeing the pictures of “gotshaft” that he has posted on this dating website and from the looks of his bedroom, I would bet that he lives in the spare room of his mama’s house.  He states he’s looking for some “frendly free company”.  This screams “LOSER” on every level! I do like that he’s telling me what he can provide me with, “coolwip ,jello,plastic sheeting”, but he can’t even spell Cool Whip (it’s 2 words, capitalized, and there’s and “H” in whip)! One thing I can guarantee he won’t be able to provide me with is a fucking dictionary! If “gotshaft” wants to use his meat hammer on women that don’t charge by the hour, then he should invest a little time learning to use the spellcheck feature on his broke-ass computer instead of sitting in his mama’s spare room playing World Of Warcraft!

I gotta be honest, if there were no spelling errors in his “pick up” paragraph, I’d probably e-mail him. You can’t go wrong with Cool Whip and plastic sheeting. That’s just the kind of hairpin I am.

Spelling counts.